


Talk Therapy

by generaldisdain



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kristanna, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generaldisdain/pseuds/generaldisdain
Summary: Anna is engaged to the charming Hans, but Elsa has some concerns about the arrangement. Much to Anna's dismay, Elsa encourages her to seek out a professional opinion before going through with the marriage. With the help of a therapist and some new friends, Anna is finally able to come to terms with the fact that maybe her relationship with Hans isn’t all she thought it was.
Relationships: Anna & Kristoff (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 89





	1. Liminal

Anna oftentimes found herself in places that made her stomach drop. When the room around her was empty and shadows filled the corners of her vision, she felt the world around her hold its breath and wait. She never quite knew what the world was holding out for, but that feeling was there, weighing down on her like two sturdy hands pressed against her shoulders. Liminal spaces, they were called. A place of transition, a season of waiting and not knowing. It was that kind of space that she found herself in now, surrounded by empty chairs and prickly silence. The clock on the wall in front of her crawled. Its meticulous tick cut through the thick tension in the air. 

She had first learned the name for these kinds of places in a hospital waiting room.

_She had been there for hours, people coming and going around her. Pained wails and gentle sighs had, by that point, blended together into nothing but background noise. She had almost drifted to sleep in the stiff waiting room chair when the woman next to her began to speak._

_"Liminal spaces are always so disorienting.”_

_Anna reluctantly opened her eyes. “Hm?”_

_“You know,” the lady continued, smoothing her skirt out with her wrinkled hands. “A liminal space. A place where you feel uncomfortable and antsy. It’s like you’re caught in between two realities- someplace like an empty hotel hallway or an airport terminal. Or my favorite example, waiting rooms, especially at an ungodly hour like this.”_

_Anna looked around. The room was empty, save for a few unlucky souls like herself and the woman seated next to her. The man across the room had a cup of coffee in his hands. His eyes looked tired and sad._

_“I’m sorry, I tend to ramble when I’m stressed.” The woman chuckled to herself and leaned back in her chair._

_“No, it’s okay. I see what you mean,” Anna replied._

It had been years since that conversation, and yet she still felt a pit in her stomach whenever she found herself in a waiting room. The memory was too fresh. 

_The doctor had come out to the waiting room and Anna had stood from her chair. The woman next to her looked expectantly between the two, head craned forward in anticipation. The doctor opened his mouth and spoke. The stethoscope slung around his neck looked like a noose or a death he had escaped and wore proudly on his shoulders like a badge of honor. Anna had crumpled to the floor._

She rested her head on the wall behind her in an attempt to ground herself in the present. After a moment spent willing the painful memory away, she opened her eyes and dared to look around at the room she currently found herself in. A place of transition, a season of waiting and not knowing. She felt uneasy. 

There was no receptionist to greet her- just the still, unmoving faces found in the paintings on the wall. The decor felt stiff. The couch on which she currently sat was soft, but somehow hard all the same beneath her. The coffee table had a wide variety of magazines haphazardly strewn about its surface. One had its cover torn clean off. 

Anna shifted uncomfortably in her seat, suddenly wishing that someone had thought to plug a white noise machine or a fan into the socket on the wall, anything to drown out the slow, meticulous tick of that damned clock.

It didn’t help that she didn’t want to be there in the first place. After all, this whole thing had been her sister’s idea. Anna grimaced at the thought. _Just a few sessions. For me._ Sometimes Elsa made her feel like a child. 

_“I made you an appointment for next week,” Elsa had chimed during a lunch together at their favorite little Italian place._

_“Are you serious?”_

_Elsa placed her fork down on the table. “Yes, I’m serious.”_

_Anna tugged at one of her braids and gave her sister a look she hoped conveyed the flurry of emotions she felt inside of her, something that would maybe make Elsa realize that she was being overprotective._

_Elsa rested her head in her hands and rubbed at her temples. “Anna, I just want to make sure you’re sure about this.”_

_“Sure about this? Elsa, we’ve been dating for over a year! Just because you don’t like him-”_

_“This isn’t because I don’t like him.”_

_“Yes it is! Stop pretending you know what’s best for me!” Anna snapped._

_“Anna-”_

_“No, I’m sick of it! You think you-”_

_“Anna, please. Just, go for me, okay? For my peace of mind. I trust you, I just want to make sure that you’re certain before going through with-” she waved her hands around, fumbling with the right words to say._

_“Marriage?”_

_Elsa sighed in defeat as if Anna had spoken the marriage into existence. “Yes.”_

_After a moment of contemplation, Anna relented. “Fine, I will. But I don’t know what you expect me to get out of it when my mind’s already made up.” And with that, Anna had shoved a bite of pasta into her mouth, confident that she had won whatever little argument they had just had._

Now that Anna found herself face to face with the appointment she had so reluctantly agreed to attending, she felt less confident in the fact that she had “won” their argument. It wasn’t that she was against the idea of therapy. On the contrary- she knew mental health care was of vital importance in the world, and she saw no shame in seeking out treatment. But Anna didn’t need treatment. She didn’t need to talk with anyone to confirm what she already knew: that she loved her fiance and wanted nothing more than to marry him. 

But Elsa had somehow gotten it into her head that Anna was incapable of thinking clearly or making big decisions on her own. She had been incredibly stubborn about Anna talking to someone about the engagement before going through with the marriage, and to her dismay that “someone” had to be a therapist.

A short text tone from Anna’s pocket tore her from her thoughts. It was from Elsa.

_“Thanks for going to this- I love you. (and remember, be honest!!!)”_

Anna rolled her eyes and shoved her phone into her purse. That didn’t deserve a reply. Anna knew Elsa loved her and just wanted the best for her, but Elsa had always been a bit overprotective. Ever since their parents died Elsa always acted like she knew what was best for the both of them. 

Maybe that’s what I can talk to this guy about, Anna thought to herself with a chuckle. 

Suddenly, the door on the back wall of the waiting room opened with a creak. Anna turned her head with a start at the sound. A man about Anna’s age scurried out of the door and down the hall, never once meeting her eyes. Anna averted her gaze to give the man at least a semblance of privacy on his way out. She could only assume he was the patient right before her. 

“Anna Arendelle?” A deep, rumbling voice called her name from the doorway. Anna stood and found herself greeted by a pair of warm, hazel eyes. The man before her was tall. His broad shoulders almost touched both sides of the narrow doorway. Blonde locks swept over the line of his eyebrows and a pair of round glasses rested on the bridge of his nose.

“That’s me,” she finally replied.

The man held out a hand and Anna took it, immediately noticing how his hand dwarfed hers. He shook her hand with two deliberate pumps. If he noticed her slight trembling or the sweating of her palm he didn’t show it. He merely offered her a welcoming smile and gestured into the room. 

“I’m Kristoff. Come on in and have a seat wherever you’d like.”


	2. Session One

Anna stepped into Kristoff’s office. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding at the sight of the cozy decor. At least this room wasn’t stiff like the waiting room. Pillows and blankets were strewn about, twinkle lights gracing the ceiling with their warm glow. A couch and plush chair faced each other ceremoniously. Toys and blocks of all shapes and kinds lied neatly in bins that donned ribbons and bows. The space felt so warm and inviting. 

“I'm sorry about all of the toys. A lot of my patients are children."

Anna jumped a bit, suddenly drawn out of her thoughts by the rumbling voice behind her. She had almost forgotten there was another person in the room, a stranger no less. “Yeah, no, I uh, it’s nice. It feels very homey.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. You can sit down wherever you feel comfortable.” 

Anna looked up at this statement and noticed that he was already sitting down in the cozy armchair in front of the couch. She smirked to herself. She hardly had much of a choice, did she? Anna took a seat on the couch and let herself look her therapist over for a moment. 

He was fiddling with his clipboard, fingers tracing along the pages. His hands seemed worn and calloused as if they had been aged by work other than simply talk therapy. When his hands came around to rest on his knee in front of him, she noticed his fingers. No wedding ring.

“So, Anna, let’s get started.” 

Anna nodded. She suddenly felt so small before him. His round-rimmed glasses didn’t hide the analytical gaze in his eyes. She could feel him judging her, and while she knew his job was to help and listen objectively, she couldn’t help but suddenly fear what he would think of her. 

“What brings you in today?” he asked.

“Well, I’m engaged, and my sister wanted me to talk to someone before going through with the marriage.”

Kristoff nodded. “But why are  _ you _ here?” 

It sounded like he had placed the emphasis on “you”. Anna cocked her head in confusion. “Sorry?”

“You said you’re here because your sister wants you to be. But why did you decide to follow her advice and come in?”

Anna shrugged. They were only a few comments in and she already felt like he was looking for holes in her story. “I love my sister. And if this makes her feel better about me getting married then it’s something I’m willing to do.”

“That makes sense. Are you and your sister close?”

Anna laughed a bit and Kristoff smiled. “Sorry, yeah we are, but it wasn’t always this way,” she elaborated. His smile was warm and genuine. She wondered if he wore that same smile with all of his patients. 

“What do you mean?”

“Elsa, my sister, moved to New York for a dance program when she was in high school. She became a principal dancer at the company, so she lived out there for a long time. We really grew apart because we hardly saw each other. But she moved back here to Washington State about a year ago, and we’ve been pretty inseparable ever since. Our parents died almost 2 years before that, so it’s been really nice having her back home.” 

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents,” he said.

Anna was surprised. Usually when people heard about her parents dying their tones fell to ones dripping with syrupy sweet sympathy. Their eyes would swim with pity and suddenly they no longer saw her as Anna, but the girl with dead parents. While Kristoff did make a note on his clipboard, his tone was laced with sincerity, his gaze never once falling to one that made her feel like a child. The earnest nature of his response caught her off guard and she stumbled over her words for a moment. 

“Uh, it’s okay. It was a while ago. But thank you. Really.” She ducked her head and tucked a stay strand of hair behind her ear. 

Kristoff nodded and turned his gaze back to his clipboard. “What would you say you want to get out of therapy?”

Anna shifted in her seat and took a moment to think. What did she want? Peace of mind? Her mind was already made up about Hans, but more confidence in that choice wouldn’t be so bad. She finally settled on an answer. “I’m not sure. I guess I just want to feel more confident in my choice to get married.” She waved her hands in protest. “Not that I’m not confident! I love Hans and I want to marry him, but Elsa hasn’t exactly helped me feel sure of myself.” 

“That's understandable.” Another note made on his clipboard. “Do you mind telling me about your fiance? Hans, is it?"

Anna nodded in affirmation and leaned forward, happy to move on from talking about her sister and parents to discussing her handsome fiance. “He’s so wonderful. We met at Washington State University almost, wow, almost two years ago!” She couldn’t believe it had been that long. “He was getting his graduate degree in business administration and I was getting my undergrad degree in elementary education. We met at this little coffee shop on campus- it was just like a movie. After I graduated last year I moved in with him, and then last month he proposed!” She was beaming. It truly did feel like everything in her life was falling into place. “He’s sweet and chivalrous, and he’s so kind for letting me live with him.”

Kristoff smiled and she couldn’t help but smile back. 

The rest of the appointment went by quickly and painlessly. Kristoff apologized for needing to ask some "stereotypical therapist questions" about her childhood and history of substance use. Did she have a history of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse in her family? Did she have a personal history with substance abuse or misuse? Was she currently on any medication? No, no, and no. 

When their time came to an end, Kristoff pulled something off of his clipboard and held it out to Anna.  “I know your sister is the one who’s encouraging you to come to these appointments, but I still want to make sure you get something out of these sessions,” he said as he leaned forward to hand Anna a small packet of paper. 

Anna skimmed over the paper. There were all sorts of questions on it- some about her mood and motivation, others about her relationships and self-esteem. 

“I really want you to think about how you’re doing and come back to me with some insight on what you might want to use our time to work on. If there’s anything on there that you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to, but I want you to know that this is a safe space for us to talk about you and for you to work through anything you might not feel comfortable working through on your own. I know it might take some time for you to feel comfortable opening up in this space, but whenever you’re ready, just know that I’m here to help you. These are your sessions- these questions are just to help you get thinking about what you might be able to get out of them.”

Anna nodded, captivated by the warm, gentle tone of his eyes and the slight smile tugging at his lips as he spoke to her. His posture was drawn forward, voice soft and moving her to reconsider why she was here. She was here for her sister, but maybe he was right. Maybe there was something she could get out of all this.

Kristoff patted his legs and stood. “It was lovely meeting you, Anna.”

Anna followed suit, standing gentling and straightening out her shirt. She grabbed her bag from the place on the couch next to her and placed the papers inside. “It was nice meeting you too,” she replied. She meant it. 

This time she was the one to initiate the handshake. It was firm but gentle, his hand holding hers loose enough to give her the freedom to control the shake, just like he was offering her control of their sessions. She smiled, suddenly giddy at the possibility of having this type of autonomy, something she hadn’t felt since college.

“I’ll see you next week,” he said, opening the door.

A mother sat with her small child in the waiting room. Anna offered them a smile as she made her way down the hallway. 

The child jumped up and raced to Kristoff, waving excitedly and babbling about how he had made a new friend in school. Kristoff’s face lit up with genuine enthusiasm as he led the child into the room with him. His eyes locked with hers for a moment, Anna sharing a warm nod with him before he shut the door. 

Anna left the office and got into her car, hands gripping the steering wheel with newfound determination. Although she might not admit it to Elsa, she couldn’t wait for her appointment next week. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that therapist Kristoff is a bit out of character, but I really wanted to try something different. I'm going to do my best to make it make sense for him in this story! Let me know if you have any suggestions or advice for this fic going forward. :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter contains descriptions and implications of emotional abuse/manipulation.

Anna stepped into the foyer of Hans’ home, shoes clicking against the marble flooring and echoing through the tall, barren ceilings. Hans’ house was pristine in nature, white and sterile in every sense of the words. The walls were tall and daunting at first, but Anna had learned to find solace within them. Where her parents had been taken away from her, Hans had come in and swept her off her feet, providing her love and comfort when she needed it most. College had been fun and she loved her friends, classes, and professors, but being so far away from her sister and losing both of her parents so suddenly had taken its toll, and she had found comfort in spending nights in his arms. 

“Hans?” she called. Her voice bounced back to her, resonating through the room. He must not have been home yet. 

Anna sighed and bounded over to the couch, slouching down and placing her feet up on the coffee table. Hans hated it when she laid around all over his nice furniture, a preference she was happy to respect when he was around, but a line she delicately snuck across whenever she was alone. The house felt so quiet and lonely, but she knew he would be home soon. 

It was always a toss-up as to what mood Hans would be in after work. Sometimes he would have just closed a sales deal and they would watch movies and laugh and he would pull her into him and tell her how much he cared for her. Other times he would come in from a particularly bad day and he would criticise, snarl, and bat her away when she attempted to comfort him. She knew it wasn’t his fault. The amount of pressure he was under as the son of the CEO of the company was something she could never understand. He was in charge of a considerable amount of people, and the stress of it all frequently bubbled over into anger. She knew she couldn’t blame him. Better to take it out on her than his coworkers and risk getting fired. And besides, a particularly rough night meant that there would be flowers on the table the next morning, so she could hardly complain. 

Anna checked the time and rose with a start. He would be home in less than 30 minutes. She bustled to the kitchen, eager to get started on their dinner so that, at the very least, if he came home upset and jaded, he couldn’t complain about dinner not being made on time. 

The front door opened and shut with a ceremonious slam. Anna felt her heart stop as she waited for his first words. The first thing he said when he came in the door was a reliable indicator of how the rest of the night would go. 

“It smells delicious in here,” Hans sighed as he came around the corner and into the kitchen.  
  
Anna let out a breath as he kissed her forehead. “I’m making chicken alfredo. I’m warming up bread too,” she said, motioning to the oven. “How was your day at work?”

“We got that new client! God, it was incredible. Anna, you should have seen it. One of the other managers was fumbling with them and I swooped in and saved the day.”

Anna giggled. She loved when he was happy like this. “I’m so glad. You’re amazing.” She set the table. Hans sat at the head, and she placed his food in front of him before returning to the kitchen to retrieve her own.

“Can you grab some butter for the bread while you’re in there, dearest?”

Anna stopped in her tracks. _Shit._ She was supposed to go to the store today to pick up butter and wine and milk and-

“Anna?”

Anna spun on her heel, facing him with pleading eyes and hands outstretched in defense. “I’m so sorry, but I forgot to go to the store today. I promise I’ll go first thing tomorrow and get everything. I-”

“What could you have possibly been doing today other than going to the store?” he questioned.

“I’m sorry, I got side-tracked.”

“Doing what?”

“Cleaning, and, I got lunch with Elsa, I’m-” It was a lie, but one that she was willing to tell. Anything to avoid him finding out she was in therapy.

“ _Elsa._ ” Hans held his face in his hands, rubbing his temples. “You forgot to go to the store, _and_ you saw Elsa? You know how I feel about her.”

“I know, but she’s my sister. I can’t just not-”

“She hates me, Anna.” He cut her off with a seething tone and a hand slammed to the table. “How do you think that makes me feel? I would _never_ spend time with someone who didn’t approve of you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Guilt pricked at her sides. She didn’t mean to hurt him by seeing her, but Elsa was her sister. 

“Silly girl. I don’t know how you expect to go to grad school if you can’t manage something simple like picking up butter from the grocery store.” 

“That’s different,” she replied. 

Hans threw his head back and groaned. “Anna, let’s not get into this now. Just sit down and let’s try to enjoy what you actually remembered to do.”

Anna nodded and ate her dinner in silence, listening to Hans prattle on about the sale he had made today. 

Hans made a show of throwing the bread away after dinner. “No point in eating bread without butter,” he complained. She wanted to say how wasteful and childish that was, but Anna bit her lip. She knew better. It was her fault that the bread was being put to waste, anyway. Hans retired to his office, and Anna went up to their room to have a moment to herself. 

She made her way to the bathroom and locked the door, confident that even if Hans wondered what she was up to, she could just say she was using the restroom or cleaning up the space. If he asked about the locked door, well, she would come up with something.   
  
Hidden away in the bathroom, she pulled out the papers that had been weighing in her purse since her meeting with Kristoff. She sat on the floor, paper and pen poised against the linoleum tiles, the coolness of the surface below her creeping up into her skin. She turned her eyes to the questions at hand.

_How would you rate your sense of self-esteem? How would you describe yourself? What are your best qualities? What are your worst qualities? How would you describe a perfect life? If you could change anything about your life, what would you change?_

What would her perfect life look like? Parents who were still alive. A sister who had been around her for longer than just one year. An elementary school class of her own. _A husband who let her go to grad school and get her teaching degree._

Anna shook off the thought. She was lucky to be in this house with him. Lucky that he loved her and let her love him. 

_Have you ever had thoughts of death or suicide? Have you ever engaged in self-destructive behaviors? Do you ever wish you were someone else?_

Anna felt her stomach rise up in her throat. She wanted to bury herself beneath the ground and emerge without the memories of the days spent alone in her dorm room staring blankly at the wall or of sneaking to the bathroom to cry, quietly shutting the door behind her as to not wake Hans. 

She felt childish. Stupid. She felt hot tears pricking in her eyes, the memories and Hans’ words from earlier swimming around in her brain until she could no longer think clearly. Why couldn’t she be better? For Hans and for herself. A tear fell onto the paper. Anna stood and made her way to her desk in their bedroom. No more of those questions. She needed to stop and just breathe.   
  
Anna pulled up her laptop and wiped a shaky hand across her cheek to stop a stay tear that leaked out of her eye. She opened up Google and typed.

_Kristoff Bjorgman_

The words seemed to pulse in the Google search bar. She clicked in the enter key and results popped up one after another. A picture of Kristoff showed up on the side of the screen, a soft smile splayed out across his face. She felt some of her anxiety dissipate at the sight of his warm, brown eyes. That was the only image of him she could find, save for one of a small group of smiling students, heads held high. He stood out of the bunch due to his height and the soft, tousled blonde of his hair. She clicked on the link. The image was attached to a story about the graduating class of his master’s program. She was impressed, intimidated even. Getting any sort of higher education was an honor and something to be proud of. It was hard work, something that Hans often reminded her she wasn’t ready for. He was right, of course. But she would be. One day.

She clicked on a link that had his name followed by the words “Student Profile, Class of 2017”.

The picture with his warm eyes and shy smile sat proudly at the top of the page. She spent a moment looking at it, letting herself fall into his eyes and recall the gentle lull of his voice. A graduate of University of Washington’s master program in psychology, the article said that he graduated with honors and started the practicum hours needed to become licensed immediately following graduation. Anna took in all she could about this man. 

“My school counselor helped me greatly as a child. I want to provide that same support that I received to children who need to be heard. People often forget that childhood can be just as difficult as adulthood and that children greatly need mental health support.” Anna could hear the quote in his voice, gentle and smooth like a lullaby. Kristoff was so sure of himself and seemed so calm and together during their session. It pained her to envision a Kristoff who sat alone and afraid in a school counselor's office. _What could he have needed that support for?_

She kept going, finding herself reading a quote from one of his professors. “Bjorgman consistently impressed me with his desire to find the whole picture and address the underlying roots of situations as opposed to just the obvious quick fixes. Intuitive and calming, he will be an excellent psychologist to whichever populations he chooses to serve.” Anna had only been with Kristoff for an hour-long session, and yet, she agreed with every word of the article. She scrolled back up to the top of the page and sighed as she saw his picture. Intuitive. Calming. _Dreamy._

“Anna, dear? Are you okay?”

Anna’s breath hitched in her throat. She slammed the lid of her laptop shut and scrambled to shove the papers into the drawer of her desk. “Yes! Yes, I’m fine,” she called, cursing herself for the tremble in her voice.

“What have you been up to up here? I’ve missed you,” he cooed, striding over to where she stood at attention by her desk. He trailed a finger along her cheek. “I’ve been working terribly hard, and I would love to relieve some stress in bed tonight.”

Anna smiled, relieved that he didn’t press her on her scrambling to put her things away or bring her mistakes from earlier back up. She was almost giddy with excitement. She was being offered a chance to make up for her earlier mistakes, a chance to prove herself. And besides, she knew that it would be in her best interest if she wanted her loving Hans tomorrow and not the cross one she got whenever he went to bed with unrelieved stress. 

“Of course,” she replied, happy to be useful to him. Happy to be needed. So lucky to be loved by him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/generaldisdainn) for more Kristanna content and chapter updates! :-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a heads up- some stuff that Kristoff engages in in this chapter is kinda unethical! (Therapists should probs not be looking up their patients like this!)   
> The subject matter in this story will really toe that line as things progress, so if at any point anyone has input or suggestions for improvement or things to consider please let me know! :-) 
> 
> Also sorry for the shorter chapter! There will be a more substantial update sometime soon!)

Kristoff came in the door of his apartment and sighed, placing his keys down on the table next to the door. Today had been odd, to say the least. A smile immediately formed on his face at the sound of paws skidding along the hardwood floor and a familiar bark. 

“Hey, boy,” he said, rubbing in between the dog’s floppy ears. “Miss me?” The dog barked happily in response.

Kristoff made his way over to his beat-up couch and patted the space next to him. The dog eagerly climbed up next to him and placed his chin in his lap. Kristoff smiled and rubbed his head, clicking on the TV and flipping through the channels until he landed on something mindless he could just unwind to for the evening. 

His mind wandered, thoughts drowning out the hum of the TV. He didn’t normally take on adults as patients, and this change had thrown him off during the course of his day. Most of his patients were kids and teens. Taking on Anna was a favor for a friend of a friend of a friend. 

_“Honeymarren said it’s kind of an emergency,” Ryder had said over the phone. They’d been friends for years, and this wasn’t the first time he had asked for a favor. It was, however, the first time Ryder had asked him to take on a client._

_"You know I don’t take on adults. I can try to refer her to someone else. I work best with kids. You know that Ryder.”_

_“I know, I know, but Honey said that Elsa said it’s really urgent. She’s worried that her sister's fiance isn’t treating her well, and if she doesn’t realize it soon she might end up marrying the guy.” Kristoff had known Honey for years, as she was Ryder’s sister. Elsa was Honeymarren’s girlfriend and he liked her well enough, despite only meeting her once or twice. He didn’t, however, know that Elsa had a little sister, let alone one that apparently needed therapy._

_“And she’s not listening to Elsa?”_

_“No. Please, Kristoff? Just this once? It’ll only be a few sessions.”_

_Kristoff had rubbed at his temples and shut his eyes. “Alright, tell her I’ll do it.”_

He was kicking himself now for agreeing to take her on. He was always happy to help, his mom always told him he was generous to a fault, but he felt so out of his league in this situation. His graduate degree was in childhood and adolescent treatment. His practicum hours were spent working with ages 5-13. He had several adolescent patients that he was able to treat with more adult methods, but helping someone process what he was told was an unhealthy relationship? That was where he lacked expertise. Obviously she should see someone who specialized in the matter, but-

_"Honeymarren said it’s kind of an emergency,”_

Kristoff knew how long waiting lists could get for appointments, how hard it was to find therapists that took your insurance. He sighed. He would help her. He had to. 

_Her. Anna Arendelle._

He pulled out his laptop and opened his email, eager to just get some emails done, make dinner, take a walk with his dog, and then go to bed. 

But that smile, those brilliant blue eyes that swam with curiosity and wonder. The way her dainty hands fiddled with the strap of her purse, gaze turned downwards and hair falling into her eyes. He couldn’t get her out of his mind. It was probably just because she was his first adult patient in ages. He was overthinking it, nervous. He refused to admit how beautiful he found her, how charming he found her smile. 

He found himself on Google, and before he could stop himself, the words “Anna Arendelle” were typed into his search bar. 

He clicked the enter key. The page loaded for a moment. His leg bounced. 

The first picture in the images tab was of her, hair long and flowing, head thrown back and smile wide and brilliant. She looked so happy, so light and free. He smiled. Was this appropriate? Googling a patient? Probably not. But the way his shoulders relaxed at the sight of her only pushed him forward. 

He found a news article with her name in it that he quickly scrolled past. Looking at images was one thing. Digging into her personal life? That wasn’t something he was going to do. Learning about her and her life was what therapy sessions were for.

He found a flickr account tied to her name and clicked that open instead. Pictures of sunrises, smiling faces, trees, and animals filled the page. It was a lovely collection of photos. She seemed to have quite a knack for photography. She had captured so much beauty with her camera. A picture of a duck with its beak open in what he assumed was a quack made him chuckle. 

He scrolled farther on the main Google page and found her Facebook account. She stood in her profile next to a man, Hans he presumed, smiling and showing off a ring. The man next to her seemed stoic, the smile he wore small and seemingly fleeting. It sent a chill up his spine. He backed out before he could make any more assumptions about their lives. 

What was he doing? He slammed the lid of his laptop closed and turned his attention to the TV. 

“This is why I don’t take adult patients, Olaf,” he laughed to his dog. Olaf cocked his head and let out a whine. “Alright, enough of this-” he said, turning off the TV and standing.

Olaf bounced up as well, the nails of his paws clicking on the floor as he pranced. Kristoff loved it when he did that. “Let’s take you on a walk.” He hoped that some fresh air would help him clear his head. It would be fine. Adult or not, she was just another patient. One that he would do his best to help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr for more Kristanna content- I'm generaldisdainn on there. :-)


	5. Session 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw you don't update your multi-chapter fic for 2 months,,, whoops! I kinda let this story fall by the wayside, and I'm really sorry about that!! I plan to keep up with more regular updates now. :-)
> 
> Also, content warning for mentions of emotional manipulation and stuff- Anna has a warped view of her own self-worth and of her relationship at the moment, but she's going to learn and grow from that throughout this fic.
> 
> As always, let me know if you have any comments, concerns, or suggestions! And thanks for sticking around despite my long absence. <3 <3 <3

Anna bit at the inside of her cheek nervously. Kristoff had been looking over her questionnaire papers for a while now, eyes scanning over where she had hastily scribbled down things she would never dream of saying out loud. Now that they were in his hands, she felt as though his eyes were bringing her words to life. 

“I really appreciate your honesty on this, Anna.”

Anna jumped, suddenly hyper-aware of the room around her. The sofa beneath her felt itchy and hot. “Hm?”

“I really appreciate your honesty on this questionnaire,” he repeated. “These are difficult questions. Do you mind if I ask you about a few of them?”

Anna nodded hesitantly and shifted her weight from side to side in an attempt to shake the tension out of her shoulders. 

“You wrote that some of your best qualities are that you’re optimistic and hardworking. Those are great qualities to have, and I can already see those traits in you.”

Anna smiled and ducked her head a bit. She had never been incredibly comfortable with receiving compliments, and she wasn’t exactly used to them either. “Thank you,” she quietly responded. 

“And for a better life you envision yourself as a school teacher? That’s a great goal to have.”

Anna’s heart soared, thrilled to get the chance to talk about one of her passions. “I’ve wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember.”

A warm smile spread across his face. “I know you said you graduated with an undergrad degree in elementary education. Do you plan on going to get your teaching license at some point?”

And just like that Anna’s heart fell. For a brief moment she was living in a world where she could do anything she wanted. She sank back to reality and answered. “No, not yet. Hans doesn’t want me to go at the moment. “

Kristoff cocked his head inquisitively. She almost wished the roles were reversed and she was the one asking him what was going on inside his head. It was so difficult to read him. He seemed so kind and unjudging, but who could say what was behind the glasses perched at the bridge of his nose?

”Why does he not want you to go?”

“I’m living at his place completely rent-free. And he works so hard. He needs someone to take care of the cooking and the cleaning around the house. But mostly he just doesn’t think I’m ready, and I don’t blame him. I’m not really mature enough to get my master’s, so I don’t mind waiting.”

“Why do you think you’re not mature enough?” 

Anna sighed, submitting to the truth. “To be completely honest, I really want to be ready. I want to give it a shot. Even if I’m not ready, I think it would be a good experience for me. But Hans just doesn’t think I’m ready yet- I’m always messing everything up. I can’t even remember to get butter from the store sometimes, so how could I possibly handle grad school?”

“Have you been able to talk to him about it? It seems like this is something you really want to do.”

He was right, of course. It was something she really wanted to do. She should be able to bring it up to Hans. “Whenever we get to talking about it we always end up in a huge fight. I think he likes having me around the house which is really sweet, but one day I want to be ready to go off and work for myself. I just don’t think he’s ready for that conversation yet. And there’s no point in going off to do something like that when I’d just be no good at it anyway.”

Kristoff made a note on his clipboard. “You said you two end up fighting? Do you mind elaborating on that a bit?”

Anna ducked her head in embarrassment. This she knew the answer to. “It’s my fault. I’m always the one to bring up the subject even though I know it’s just going to make him mad. I don’t know how he puts up with me sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s your fault for bringing up something you’re passionate about.”

“No, but, I should know what upsets him, you know? Every couple has to make sacrifices. There are some things I just know I shouldn’t talk to him about. Like if he knew I was talking to you right now he’d kill me.”

For the first time in their short time together, Anna saw Kristoff’s eyes go dark. “Sorry?”

“I mean, I’m already such a mess around the house, there’s no way he’d ever let me go to grad school if he knew I had to see a therapist. And a male therapist? And the fact that Elsa told me to see you?” Anna shuddered, envisioning the yelling and the crying. Hans would be heartbroken, enraged. _Shattering of glass, hands clenched into fists._

“Are you okay?”

Anna brought her face back to Kristoff’s chocolate brown eyes. His eyebrows were knitted together thoughtfully. 

“You seem distracted,” he clarified.

“I’m fine, just thinking.”

“About?”

Anna chewed at one of her nails, trying to put her fears into words. She _knew_ they were irrational, and yet… “I don’t want Hans to feel inadequate or hurt his feelings. Elsa doesn’t like him very much, so Hans doesn’t really…” she searched desperately for the right word to describe his disdain. “He doesn’t really trust her opinion. I don’t really blame him. Elsa’s always talking like she wants us to break up. It bothers me too. He would see this,” she gestured between the two of them, “as just a scheme to break us up, and me being alone with another man? He just gets jealous and protective. Which makes sense, I guess. There are a lot of skeevy guys out there, no offense,” she chuckled. 

Kristoff nodded and made another note on his clipboard. 

Anna wanted to crane her neck to see what he was writing. Anxiety shot through her spine. She was suddenly struck with the impression that perhaps she was just wasting this man’s time. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble. I know I talk a lot and I just- I’m sorry.”

Anna felt his eyes meet hers and he smiled gently. 

“There’s no need to apologize. You can talk as much as you want. This is your time, Anna, and I’m trying to get to know you so we can make these sessions as helpful for you as possible.”

Anna nodded. “Sorry,” she stated again, a habitual apology that just seemed to fall from her lips to his feet. 

Kristoff chuckled. “It’s okay.” A comfortable silence filled the room for a brief moment. “Do you mind if I move on with the questionnaire?” 

Anna nodded. She found herself feeling a bit disappointed to leave the warm embrace of their shared silence. 

He cleared his throat and straightened his posture before continuing. “I noticed that you indicated generally low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and hopelessness. And I also noticed that in your past you’ve experienced thoughts of suicide. Have you been feeling suicidal at all lately, or was that something that you dealt with in college like you indicated here?”

The bluntness of the question surprised her, and yet, she didn’t sense any malice or judgment in his voice- just soft concern. Anna mulled it over for a moment. She could confidently say that the days of her darkest thoughts were over. They had been ushered in with the loneliness that came from a sister moving across the country and parents taken from her far too soon. Of course, she felt similar feelings of anxiety and aching sadness in the depths of night or disappointment when she slipped up around the house, but she rarely found herself alone with her sister back in the state and Hans around so often. She felt lucky in that regard. “I don’t have thoughts of suicide anymore. The majority of that was in the time right after my parents died, but things have been better with time.” 

Kristoff nodded. “A lot of times time is the best medicine for grief, but it does still pop up now and again, even when we think the worst of it is over.”

Anna nodded in agreement. The pain of her loss had numbed significantly since their deaths, but it wasn’t uncommon for it to come over her in sudden, overwhelming bursts. She smiled. It seemed like Kristoff understood that. Hans never seemed to, but it's not like he could relate, and she could hardly be upset with his exasperation at her volatile emotions. Maybe that was one of the reasons he felt so keen on keeping her in the house. 

“Even if we aren’t feeling suicidal, it doesn’t mean that we’re doing okay. You’ve indicated here that you frequently experience anxiety attacks and feelings of worthlessness. Do you want to elaborate on that?”

 _No_ , she thought to herself. She didn’t. But his eyes were so soft. So genuine. They seemed so eager to listen. Words came tumbling out of her in a flood she didn’t realize had been waiting to breakthrough. “I do feel worthless a lot, but, I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I’m ever good enough. I always try my best on things around the house and in trying to get my sister and fiance to get along, but I always screw something up. It’s a wonder Hans even stays with me. I’m so lucky to have him, I know that, but I just, I don’t know. I can’t do anything right for him and I don’t know how I can be better.”

Kristoff nodded. “When you say you screw things up, what kind of things are you referring to?”

“Okay, well, for example, after our session last week, I had gotten so preoccupied with everything that I totally forgot to go to the store like I was supposed to. I cooked dinner, but I didn’t get butter for the bread and it really put Hans in a terrible mood. He had had a busy day at work, and all I had to do was go to the store, but I couldn’t even get that right. It’s little things like that- just forgetting things or burning things that I cook or getting overwhelmed and breaking down and then Hans has to change his plans. Like-- oh, one time we went to a party and I got really anxious and I begged to go home and he gave in, but I felt so awful afterward. He was so upset and I felt so bad that I made him leave. We had a horrible fight about it and it was all my fault. And when he came home from work the next couple of days he told me just how much he found out he had missed at the party all because I made him leave. And no matter what I do to try and bring Elsa and Hans together, they just can’t get along. I know I cause them both stress, and I just need to be better for both of them.” Anna was shaking, hands clenched at her sides and legs pressed tightly together. She investigated the carpet, counting the small, blue squares in its pattern. Why did she feel like she was on the verge of tears? She felt so small. “Sorry,” she said as she began to sniffle, unable to stop a few tears from slipping out as the overwhelming feeling of being so undeserving of the love she received threatened to consume her.

Kristoff handed her a box of tissues. “Don’t be sorry.”

Anna nodded and dabbed at her eyes, trying desperately to get her emotions under control. Waves rocked in her chest and she felt unsteady, so off-balance, as if any moment she would tip and sink below the surface.

“It seems like there’s a lot of pressure on you right now. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed in that kind of situation. You’re stuck between two fighting people in your life, and it sounds like Hans has some unfairly high expectations of you around the house.”

“I wouldn’t say unfair,” Anna replied. “I’m just, like I said, clumsy and forgetful.” She chuckled in spite of herself, finding it almost humourous just how silly she was being about all of this. 

“Forgetting one thing from the store isn’t necessarily you being forgetful or clumsy. I think that’s just called being human. I’m not sure if that’s really something you should be getting in trouble for.”

Anna shrugged, suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable with what Kristoff was implying.

“Do you feel appreciated in your relationship?”

Anna stammered, tripping over herself as she mulled over the last 2 years, trying to find a piece of herself that felt appreciated in any way. She settled on a shrug and an “I don’t know.”

Kristoff raised an eyebrow. He had probably been in this business long enough to know when a client had more to say than they were letting on. 

“Sometimes,” she softly murmured, suddenly doubting herself when she heard the slight waver in her voice.

“When do you feel appreciated?”

“He’ll buy me flowers after a fight," she immediately countered.

“Does he ever buy you flowers for any other reason?”

Anna bit at the inside of her cheek. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Why do you think this conversation is making you uncomfortable?”

Anna averted her gaze, suddenly self-conscious with her answers, with her presence. She wanted to sink into the cushions of the couch and disappear until she couldn’t take up any more space. 

“You don’t have to answer now, but I think maybe that’s something you can think about for our session next week. How do you feel about that?”

Anna met his gaze once more, trying to be strong, trying not to overanalyze this whole thing. She could be strong. Prove herself. To Elsa, to Hans, and even to Kristoff. She nodded.

Another soft smile crossed Kristoff’s face. Except this time, his smile seemed to be tugged at by sadness, warm brown eyes regarding her with a certain weight. He patted at his knees and stood, his indication to her that their time together was up. 


	6. Chapter 6

There was no doubt in Kristoff’s mind. Anna wasn’t just in a bad relationship like he had been told. She was in a potentially abusive one. Her view of herself and of her partner was dangerously warped. There were so many signs: justifying his unfair rules for her, feeling “unworthy” of him, his attempts to keep her in the house, Anna’s fear of him finding out she was in therapy- it was a dangerous combination of factors that made her susceptible to this vile man’s manipulation. 

This whole thing was way out of his league. Which was how he found himself on the phone with Sven that evening. Sven was another therapist in the area and a close friend of his. They always confided in each other and relied on each other for counsel and advice. This situation was no different. 

“I need your help with a client.” Kristoff shifted the phone from the crook of one shoulder to the other, resting it against his cheek as he chopped vegetables for his dinner. 

“Shoot,” Sven replied.

“So, I took a woman on as a patient at the request of a friend. He said it was urgent and that she was having trouble finding someone who took her insurance and was nearby- you know, all the normal barriers to therapy that people run into.”

“But she’s an adult?”

“Yeah,” Kristoff replied.

“When’s the last time you saw someone over the age of like, 12?”

Kristoff sighed and ran an arm across his forehead to wipe at a drop of sweat.“It’s been a while. And the thing is, I feel like I’d normally be able to handle it, but from what I can gather, it sounds like she’s in a potentially abusive relationship at the moment.”

“Damn.”

“I know. I want to help her, but I don’t think it’s fair to her when this isn’t my specialty in the slightest, you know?”

“Yeah, no, I gotcha. I ended up transferring a patient who was struggling with an eating disorder a few months ago. It was the same deal: I wanted to help but I just didn’t think I was doing her justice and I thought she could get better treatment from a therapist who actually specialized in the subject.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know anyone you can refer her to?”

“No, that’s why I’m calling you.”

“Ah, well, you’re in luck- I happen to know an incredible woman who specializes in domestic abuse and unhealthy relationships. I’m not sure if she has any openings, but I can give her a call for you if you want.”

Kristoff let out a sigh of relief. There was a reason he always relied on Sven for advice. “That would be incredible.”

“Anytime, dude.”

“There is one other thing though,” Kristoff mentioned before Sven could slip away.

“What’s that?” He was always so eager to help. It made what he was about to ask all the easier. 

“This girl, she-” he took in a shuddering breath and stood back from the kitchen counter. “I mean, she’s been abandoned before and- god- I don’t want- I couldn’t possibly- I just don’t want this to be like,” he was struggling for the right thing to say.

“Like you’re abandoning her?”

“Exactly.”

“Just be honest. It sounds cliche, but the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me thing’ really does help soften the blow in this case. You don’t feel properly equipped to help her in the capacity she might need, and you do want the best for her. But I mean, don’t push it. Remember to give her the agency to make the final decision.”

“Of course, of course. Thanks, Sven. Seriously.”

“Hey no problem. I gotta go, but let me know if you need anything else, okay?” 

Kristoff smiled. He was so lucky to know Sven. “Same to you- don’t forget to let me know what that therapist says.”

“Will do.”

And with that, Kristoff was left with nothing but the dull throb of white noise on the other line. He set down the phone and returned his attention to his dinner. Olaf wandered over and whined for handouts. 

After he made his food he cleaned up, took Olaf out for a quick lap around the block, and then turned on the TV to have in the background while he caught up on emails. After that, he would shower and turn in for the night. It was pretty much like this every night- besides the occasional phone call or meet up with Sven or another friend, it was just him and Olaf. He didn’t particularly mind. Kristoff had always been used to the quiet, and he had learned long ago not to conflate loneliness and solitude. 

He had bounced around from foster home to foster home a lot when he was a kid, but once he received support from a school counselor, he found ways to enjoy the time alone- long walks through the woods, extracurriculars at school. He had been, once he received the necessary emotional support he needed to process his difficult feelings and circumstance, a relatively happy child. He wanted to provide this same support to the kids he worked with. It was extremely fulfilling work which was another reason why he didn’t mind coming home to quiet each evening. He had himself. He had his dog. His family and friends were just a phone call away. What more could he ask for? 

...

The next day Kristoff woke to a text from Sven with a number and a name for a therapist he could refer Anna to. Apparently she did have an opening for a new patient. Kristoff smiled. He wanted to help Anna in any way he could, and this was the best way he knew how. 

He made his way over to his desk and glanced at the clock. It was just late enough in the morning that he could assume that Hans would be at work. If not, well, he would cross that bridge if he had to. He dialed the number Anna had listed as her cell on her patient intake forms and waited. Kristoff felt nervous. In truth, he had never had to suggest a client be transferred before, and he was worried about how she would react. _It’ll be okay. Make the suggestion, but let her make the final call_. Kristoff reminded himself of these things while he listened to the ringing of the phone.

“Hello?” her voice sounded tired and hesitant, but it was unmistakably hers.

“Hi, is this Anna Arendelle?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“Hi, Anna, it’s Kristoff Bjorgman.” 

“Oh, Kristoff! How are you? Is everything okay?” She seemed almost excited to hear from him.

“I’m doing well, everything’s fine. How are you doing?”

“I’m good!” 

“That’s good to hear. Would now be an okay time to talk?”

“Uh, sure,” he could sense the sudden hesitation and curiosity in her voice. “What did you need to talk about?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about your situation and going over your intake papers, and I just want to make sure we’re doing what’s most beneficial for you,” he began, choosing his words carefully.

Anna made a small sound of acknowledgment over the other line.

“In doing so, I’ve realized that I’m not sure I’m the best one to help you become a better version of yourself.”

“Oh.” 

“I’m a child therapist, and while I’m still equipped to take on adults, it’s not my specialty. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, definitely.” He hoped she felt as understanding as she sounded. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her or make her feel like he was trying to get rid of her.

“I would be happy to keep seeing you, but I also want to make sure you’re getting the help you deserve. I have the contact information for another therapist who specializes in some of the things that you’ve been dealing with. If you’d like, I can pass that information along to you and make sure you have a smooth transition to seeing her. I think it might be beneficial for you to see someone who has a more specialized area of focus. Like I said though, that choice is completely up to you, and I’d be happy to continue to work with you.”

There was a moment of silence on the other line, the quiet hum of the phone the only thing keeping Krsitoff’s nerves at bay. He held his breath as he waited for her answer. 

“I think, um, yes, that would be fine. If you think that’s what’s best I’ll do it.”

He leaned back in his chair, physically feeling more relaxed after hearing her positive answer. “That’s great, Anna. I really think she’ll be able to help you a lot. And if things don’t work out with her, let me know and we can schedule another appointment together or we can look for someone else.” He was doing his best to make sure she knew that she had the power in all of this. For someone who potentially didn’t have a lot of power in her own home, it was imperative that she felt like she had the agency in this situation. 

“Okay.”

“This doesn’t have to be a permanent change if you don’t want it to be. Just see how she is, and then let me know if you change your mind at all.”

“Right, yes. Thank you, Kristoff.”

“You’re welcome! I’ll send that information over to you right away. Do you have any questions or concerns at all?”

Another pause, presumably to mull the question over. “Not that I can think of.”

“Okay. Before you go," He knew that if things worked out with the new therapist, this could very well be the last time he so much as heard her voice. He needed to tell her this. It had been on his mind since they spoke at their very first session. "I asked you at our first session why you came to therapy. You said it was because your sister didn't want you to go through with your marriage, but I think there may have been a small part of you that came in because you agreed with her- that maybe you have your own reservations. Reservations about a big life decision like marriage are completely normal. They can be uncomfortable, but I think it would benefit you to really lean into that discomfort. It might lead you somewhere. You deserve to live your best life." He gave her a moment to process and let everything sink in before continuing. "Let me know if you think of any questions or anything. I’ll be checking in with the other therapist to make sure you make an appointment with her and to make sure she gets your information so you can have a smooth transition. And again, if you change your mind at any point, let me know.”

“Okay. Thank you. Really.” Her voice seemed sincere. There were no hitching breaths or wavers in her voice that betrayed the genuine tone of her words.

“You’re welcome. Good luck, Anna. Have a good rest of your day.” He really meant it.

“You too, Kristoff.” He hoped she meant it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therapists are all different. While one might not help you, another could change your life. I think it's important to keep that in mind when trying to find a therapist that works best for you!
> 
> If you have any questions, comments, or concerns about this fic, please let me know! I'm always open to listen to suggestions or criticisms, especially since I know I'm writing about a relatively sensitive subject. :-)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of emotional abuse and violence in this chapter!

_ After I finish cleaning I can head to therapy- then I can stop by the store on my way back to get stuff for dinner. _

Anna thought over her tasks for the day as she ran the vacuum in the living room. Hans had made a mess yesterday, and he insisted that she clean it all up before he returned from work. 

“It’s the least you can do,” Hans had chided before heading out that morning. 

He was the one who had thrown the potted plant on the ground the night before, but she was the one who had brought up going to grad school again. She should have known it would set him off, what with all the added stress going on at work.

_ "God, Anna, what do you want from me? You nag and you gripe about the same things over and over again, and you disrespect me after all I've done for you?" _

She could still hear the shattering of the pot, could feel the tight grip around her wrist as he roughly pulled her up from the ground where she had collapsed into sobs. 

Anna shuddered as her thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the ringing of her phone. She stopped the vacuum and picked it up, peering at the caller ID. It was Elsa.

“Hello?”

“Anna! Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine, Elsa. Are you okay?”

“Yes- I’m great, actually. Honey and I are finally all moved into our apartment.” It wasn’t often that Elsa let enthusiasm creep into her voice, but there it was, all bubbling and full of light. 

“Oh, that’s so exciting!” Anna was so happy for them.

“I’m actually calling to invite you to a little housewarming party Honey and I are throwing at our new place.” 

“A party?” 

“Please, please, please come, Anna! Honey really wants to see you, and I miss you.” There was silence and an intake of breath, the enthusiasm in Elsa’s voice replaced with sudden reservation. “You haven’t been texting or calling as much. I’m worried about you.”

“Elsa, I’m fine. You’re always worried about me. I’m just busy. Hans took on a new account at work, and I need to make sure everything at home is okay for him since he’s been working so much. You know how it is.”

“No, actually I don’t.”

There was silence for a moment. Hans was still a sore subject between Anna and her sister. 

“If I go to this party for you, will you stop worrying about me?” Anna challenged.

“Anna, I’m your older sister, I can’t promise you that. What I can promise you though is that we’ll have boat-loads of chocolate just for you.”

Anna couldn’t help but smile at that. “Okay. I’ll be there.”

“That’s great! I’ll let Honey know, she’s going to be so excited. And Anna?”

“Hm?”

“Feel free to bring Hans. I know we don’t always get along, but I think it would be nice to have him here.” Elsa’s voice was small, almost hesitant in extending an invitation to him, but it was there, an olive branch, a small offering of peace. 

Anna smiled. “I’ll let him know. Thanks, Elsa.”

“You’re welcome. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

“How was your day, dearest?”

Hans sat across from Anna at their dinner table, eating his food contently. The flowers he had brought her to apologize for last night sat proudly on the table, almost blocking him from her line of sight. He had had a great day at work, and he’d been satisfied with her cleaning and the dinner. Anna swallowed thickly. She hoped that what she was about to bring up didn’t dampen his mood.

“It was good. I had time to read more in my book today. And, uh, I got a call from Elsa.”

Hans raised an eyebrow at this. “Oh? What did she want?” 

“Well, um, she called to invite us to a party,” she explained, eyes searching his gaze for any signs of hurt or malice.

“A party?” he asked quizzically. 

“It’s a housewarming party for Elsa and Honeymarren. They finally found an apartment they like, and they just finished moving in. It’s just a small get together with close friends… And family.”

“Anna, do you even realize what you’re asking me?” His tone slipped in pitch and Anna hurried to justify her proposition. 

“I know you and Elsa don’t get along, but she  _ personally _ invited you, and I think it would be good for you guys to start fresh.”

“After all she’s done to us you’re willing to throw that all away?” he countered.

Anna flinched at the bitterness in his tone. “I think she’s willing to apologize and start over. And if you went, maybe you could apologize too-”

“What the fuck do  _ I  _ have to apologize for?” His fist came down and struck the table. “Anna, she’s been nothing but horrible to you- abandoning you after your parents died, spending all those years away from you, and not approving of me, the one person who was there for you, the one person who puts up with you day in and day out- the only person who  _ loves  _ you? Do _you_ even love me, Anna?”

“No, Hans, that’s not it, I-”

“I’m appalled you would even bring this up- that you would even  _ insinuate _ the fact that I have something to apologize for. We are  _ not _ going to that party.”

“That’s okay- you don’t have to go.”

“Didn’t you hear me, Anna?  _ We’re _ not going.”

Anna’s eyes widened at the realization of what he was suggesting. “But Hans-”

“That’s the end of it. I don’t want to hear another thing about this.”

Anna ducked her head as if averting her gaze would shield her from some of his anger.

“So much for a peaceful dinner.” Hans pushed his chair back and Anna flinched at the loud scrape it made against the floor. He got up and stormed off to their room, slamming the door behind him.

She hadn’t meant to upset him. She just wanted to celebrate with her sister, and she wanted her fiance to be a part of that. Anna put her head down in her hands as the beginnings of a headache began to creep up her temples. 

***

It was three days after their fight, but Anna still shuddered at the memory. He had been so upset with her, and she couldn’t help but still feel guilty about the whole thing. She sat on the couch, watching some cooking show on tv. She wasn’t really paying attention. She had just had to call her sister and let her know that she wouldn’t be making it to the housewarming party that evening. Anna  _ hated _ lying, but she told Elsa Hans was sick. If Elsa knew the real reason why she wasn’t coming, she would never learn to accept Hans, and Anna couldn’t possibly take that risk. Elsa was heartbroken and tried to get Anna to come without him, but she had to refuse. Hans would be home any minute, and he would expect them to spend the night together. It was nice of him to insist on getting quality time with her, but she just couldn’t get past the queasy feeling in her stomach when she thought back to how adamantly he had refused to go to the party.

Her phone’s text tone went off. It was a picture from Elsa. She and Honey were making silly faces at the camera, Honey's arm draped comfortably over Elsa's shoulders. The picture was accompanied by a text reading “we miss you!”.

Anna’s stomach twisted. She wanted to be there so badly.

Another text tone came from her phone, but this time, it was from Hans.

_ I’ll be at the office late tonight- probably won’t be home until 10pm or so _ . 

Anna sucked in a breath and quickly typed out “okay, love you honey!” in reply. 

She glanced at the clock. It was only 5:30. The party started at 6:00, and Hans wouldn’t be home until 10:00. Anna placed her head in her hands, letting out a shaky breath. As much as she loved Hans, Elsa was her sister. Before she could talk herself out of it, Anna pushed herself off the couch, grabbed her keys, and made her way to her car. The car’s ignition started with an energizing sound that sent a rush of adrenaline through her body. She was really doing this.

Anna pulled out of the driveway and started down the road, playing music to calm her nerves. She was going to that party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are tough right now- if you're struggling, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. <3 My Tumblr inbox is always open, and I'm always happy to listen. (https://generaldisdainn.tumblr.com/)
> 
> If you're feeling hopeless, and want to do something to help the fight for racial equality, here are some great things you can do from home: https://www.wired.com/story/protests-covid-how-to-help/
> 
> For POC, this is an especially difficult time. Here is a list of resources for struggling POC: https://hypebae.com/2020/6/mental-health-resources-poc-black-minorities-community-racism-george-floyd


	8. Housewarming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu another update because yesterday's update was so short!!!

“Anna! You made it!” Honey exclaimed when she opened the door of the apartment. “Elsa told me you couldn’t come because Hans was sick.”

“Oh, yes, um, he is, but he’s feeling a bit better now, so here I am!” Anna had almost forgotten about her lie.

“I’m so glad. Come on in, Elsa’s going to be so happy to see you.”

Anna made her way into the apartment. It was decorated with modern furniture, most likely Elsa’s doing, but the walls were covered with plants and paintings which were most likely Honey’s additions. It was perfect. The main living room was full of guests, most of whom Anna didn’t recognize, but she smiled when she saw a few familiar faces. Her smile only grew when she caught sight of Elsa. The sparkle in her sister’s eyes made this all worth it. 

“Anna, I’m so glad you’re here,” Elsa said as she greeted Anna with a warm hug. “Is Hans doing okay?”

“He’s feeling a lot better.” Guilt swirled in the back of her mind with the lie, but she swallowed it down. Elsa was happy she was here, and that was all that mattered. 

“Well, I still got chocolate in case you showed, so go knock yourself out,” Elsa chuckled, motioning over to a table covered in little appetizers and chocolates that made Anna’s mouth water. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Anna giggled, striding over to the table to grab some food, Elsa in tow. In her preoccupation with all of this, she had forgotten to eat dinner, and her stomach was growling unpleasantly. 

She grabbed a plate and placed various food items on it. Her sister did the same. Elsa began telling her something about the new apartment, but Anna couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying. She heard something. It was a bright and bubbling laugh, one she swore she recognized. The voice following the laugh was soft and comforting, but more casual than when she had heard it in the past. She turned around and there he was: the broad and sturdy shoulders topped by a mess of blonde hair. It was Kristoff. Her breath caught in her throat. It had been a whole month since she last saw him in his office- a whole month since she had last heard his voice over the phone. She had almost forgotten what he looked like.  _ Almost _ . 

What was the proper etiquette in this situation? Was she supposed to approach him or ignore him? Maybe wait for him to make the first move?

“Anna, is everything okay?” Elsa asked, eyebrows knitted in concern.

Before Anna could make any sort of decision on what to do, Kristoff turned around and his eyes met hers. 

“Kristoff?” she called, pretending she had just noticed he was there. He made his way over to them. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m friends with Ryder- Honey’s brother. I didn’t realize you would be here.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know you knew- wow small world.” Anna was doing her best to piece things together. She felt as though two worlds were suddenly colliding.

Elsa looked between the two of them, her eyes widening with realization. “I’m so sorry- I had no idea that he was- Ryder said that your therapist was one of his friends, but I didn’t know- I didn’t know  _ you _ were Dr. Bjorgman,” she stammered, looking at Kristoff. 

Kristoff let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s fine,” Anna said, placing a comforting hand on Elsa’s arm and flashing Kristoff a hesitant smile. She meant it. It had been a month since he transferred her to a different therapist, and while it was a little odd seeing him here, it was also a bit refreshing to run into him again. 

“Elsa, come here! There’s someone I want you to meet.” Elsa and Anna turned to see Honey striding over to pull Elsa away. She turned a panicked gaze to her sister. It was as if she was afraid to leave her alone to succumb to the mess that she had inadvertently created by not realizing that Ryder’s friend Kristoff and Ryder’s friend Dr. Bjorgman were the same person. 

Anna gave Elsa a gentle nudge towards her girlfriend and a warm smile that read “I’ll be fine.” Elsa seemed to understand and went off with Honey to be introduced to someone, suddenly leaving Anna and Kristoff alone. 

Kristoff was the first to break the silence. “How are things going with-” he trailed off, struggling to remember her new therapist’s name. It had been a while since he had referred Anna, so the name escaped him.

“Yelena?”

“Yes, Yelena, how are you liking her?”

“She’s great. Really. She’s been so helpful. You were really helpful too, of course, but I’m glad you referred me. You’re great too though, I just, oh God, I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m saying.” Anna put her face in her hands, embarrassed by her rambling.

“No, don’t apologize. I know what you mean. I referred you for a reason, and I’m glad to hear she’s a good match.”

Anna smiled an easy smile. She had forgotten how understanding he was. 

“Remind me- how do you know my sister again?” She was still eager to put all of the pieces together.

“Well, I moved to Ryder’s neighborhood when we were in middle school, so he and I have been friends for ages. I’ve known his sister for about as long. She hated me when we were younger, but I’d like to think she tolerates me now. This is probably only the third time I’ve seen your sister, and obviously, I haven’t made that great of an impression if she can’t even remember my last name.” Kristoff smiled, an indication that he was trying his best at making a lighthearted joke. “She seems great though. She and Honey are really happy together, and I know Ryder’s told me they’re perfect for each other.”

“I know what you mean. They just seem like they were meant to be. So tell me- what was Honey like when she was a kid?” Anna pried.

“ _ Bossy. _ So incredibly bossy. She made a girls-only clubhouse in the neighborhood and because Ryder and I were little boys we made it our mission to break in. I guess we kinda deserved to be bossed around. We were probably really annoying.”

Anna giggled at that. She couldn’t imagine Kristoff being a mischievous little middle schooler. He seemed so put together.

“What was Elsa like as a kid?” Kristoff countered.

“Stuck up and nosy,” Anna said, falling easily into the rhythm of their conversation. “She was always so prim and proper, while I was always trying to get into dirt and stuff. My parents always told me I was the messiest baby.”

Kristoff smiled at that.

“No, but really, she was the best sister a girl could ever ask for. We had a lot of fun together when we were little.”

“You guys seem close now, too,” Kristoff observed.

Anna’s heart swelled. While it had been a long journey, what with Elsa away at a dance program for a lot of their lives, they had certainly made a lot of progress, and it was nice to have that progress validated. 

“We are. It’s really nice. Do you have any siblings?” Anna asked.

“Sort of. I grew up bouncing around from foster home to foster home, so I had some foster siblings here and there. Some I keep in touch with, others I don’t. I was adopted in middle school, and I’m technically my parents’ only child, but I’d definitely consider Ryder to be like a brother to me.”

Anna had almost forgotten that he was in and out of foster homes growing up, something she had only learned after internet stalking him after their first session. She was grateful that her thoughtless question didn’t seem to phase him. Anna smiled and nodded, expressing her gratitude to him for sharing his story with her. 

“It’s interesting to talk to you like this,” she commented after a beat.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, during therapy, it was always you asking the questions. But now it’s like an actual conversation. You know, back and forth and all that.”

“Yeah, that’s usually how conversations tend to go. Now that we’re in this setting, is there anything you’ve been dying to ask me?” Kristoff’s tone implied that he was just joking, but Anna gave him a knowing smirk, fully intending on taking him up on his offer no matter how much he was joking.

“What’s it like keeping so many secrets for people?”

“Okay, you’re going to have to elaborate,” Kristoff said with a surprised smirk. He wasn't expecting her to actually ask him anything.

“Legally, as a therapist, you can’t just share stuff about your clients to other people. But you probably hear some wild stories. How do you keep all of that inside? I would just explode.”

“Well I’m not really talkative, so I haven’t found it to be too big of a problem,” he chuckled, clearly amused by Anna’s explanation. “Any other burning questions?”

“Have you ever hated a patient?”

Kristoff let out a laugh.

“Well?”

“I’m not answering that!” he protested incredulously.

“So you have,” Anna deduced, pointing a finger at him.

“That’s not-”

“I know, I know I’m just teasing you.”

Kristoff smiled and laughed. It seemed to be a trend with him. Anna liked getting to know this Kristoff, not therapist Kristoff or Dr. Bjorgman, but the real Kristoff- the one who laughed at her jokes and made them right back.

“Are we allowed to do this? Be friends, I mean,” she asked.

“Hmmm.” Kristoff leaned back a bit and looked up, lost in thought for a moment. “Normally I’d say give it more time, but I only saw you for two sessions, you’ve been with another therapist for a month, and we have mutual friends, so I don’t see why not,” he concluded.

“That’s good. Now I can call you up and get therapy for free,” she teased.

They exchanged another smile.

Eventually, they found themselves over at one of the couches. The conversation came easy to them. She learned that his favorite music genres were (unsurprisingly) jazz and (surprisingly) heavy metal. His favorite movie was Inception which Anna promptly teased him about. His middle school counselor changed his life and encouraged him to become a child therapist, although she already knew that from the article she read about him, but she would never tell him that.

Anna told him about the teacher that made her want to become a teacher too, about memories with her sister, and about her superior taste in movies, her favorite being La La Land.

“Are you kidding me?” Anna exclaimed, her hand covering her mouth as she laughed and tried to hold back a snort. Kristoff had just told her a story about a time he and Ryder had printed out a picture of a butt and taped it all over their middle school. 

“No, unfortunately, I’m not,” Kristoff said with a sigh, clearly embarrassed about his middle school antics, but smiling all the same.

“Your poor teachers.” Anna shook her head in disbelief.

“That’s going to be you someday,” Kristoff warned.

“If all of my students are as bad as you then I’ll quit.”

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad.”

“Uh huh.” Anna felt her phone buzz and pulled it out of her pocket. 

It was Hans. “ _ I’ll be coming home a little earlier than I thought. I can’t wait to see you, my dearest.” _

“Fuck.” Anna’s life suddenly flashed before her eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry, but I have to go, I’m, I’m sorry, Hans is coming home and I have to get back.” Anna looked at him with an unspoken plea for him to understand, for him to not press for more, for him to just let her go. 

Kristoff nodded and smiled a faint smile that swam with sadness, or perhaps disappointment. Anna couldn’t tell. “I understand. It was nice talking to you tonight, Anna.”

“You too.” For a moment, despite the panic coursing through her veins, she felt calm. She felt understood.

Anna ran out the door without saying goodbye to Elsa or Honey. She could text them later, tell them she wasn’t feeling good or that Hans had gotten worse, or, something. 

With shaky hands and a final glance at the clock, Anna turned her key in the ignition of her car and waited. She waited. “Come on,” she muttered under her breath as she tried again- one hand on the key, one hand on the wheel, and a foot on the break to get the car started. She was shaking now, teeth almost chattering as the reality of the situation hit her in the gut.

“I shouldn’t have come to this stupid fucking party,” Anna cried, bracing her hands against the wheel and letting her head fall forward. Tears were flowing freely now. There was so much she was worried about, but nothing in particular was on her mind. It was all just white, hot panic. 

Anna stumbled blindly out of the car and into the house, trying her best to keep her head low to avoid any suspicious gazes. The crowd had thinned significantly, but there were still a few people mingling about that she didn’t recognize. She didn’t want their first impression of her to be that she was a wreck and overly emotional. 

Anna found her sister and tugged at her sleeve, hand still shaking. 

“Anna?” Elsa’s voice immediately dipped, gripping her sister’s shaking form with her hands. “What’s wrong?”

“The car- it won’t- it won’t- I’m not going to make it back on time- you have to-”

Anna was babbling as Elsa pulled her away from the crowd and over to a more secluded corner. Elsa instructed her to breathe, trying to get her to take deep breaths, but Anna couldn’t stop the heavy breathing or the shaking. She felt like the whole room was going to cave in around her.

“I can’t start my car and I’m not going to be home before Hans gets back. You need to jump my car, please,” Anna sputtered in between heavy breaths. 

“Before Hans gets back? I thought you said he was sick-”

“Please-”

“Anna, does Hans not know you’re here?”

Anna bit at her lip, afraid that admitting to the truth would make the situation all the more real. She shook her head. Elsa’s glare was intense and piercing. 

“Why are you so scared to go back and just tell him you were here?”

Anna shook her head again. She was too afraid of what the answer might be. 

Elsa’s face twisted from worry to sudden determination.  “Anna, look at yourself. I can’t let you go back there.”

“What?”

“I don’t trust him, and you obviously don’t either,” she snapped. “You need to get out of there, Anna. He’s destroying you.”

Anna struggled to get out of her sister’s grip that suddenly felt far too tight.“No, Elsa, please, I promise, I’m fine, just help me get my car started.”

“I’m not letting you go back there to that monster,” Elsa said, her gaze flitting over the bruise around Anna’s wrist. 

“You said you wanted to start over- you said you wanted him to be here tonight,” Anna reasoned.

“I did. Anna, I wanted to try. Believe me, I tried so hard, but I can’t keep trying with him. Look at what he’s doing to you, Anna!” Elsa pulled back to motion at Anna’s shaking form. Her tear splotched face. Her uneven breathing. God, she must have looked pathetic.

Anna bolted out the front door and back into her car, praying to whatever God would hear her that maybe her car would start.

“Anna!” Elsa ran after her, flinging the front door open and standing at Anna's car. Honey was behind her now, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Kristoff in the doorway, staring at the scene unfolding before him.

“Please just come back inside. Don’t go back to him. We can get through this together. I know you, Anna. This isn’t you,” Elsa pleaded.

“You don’t know anything about me! _Hans_ was there after our parents died. _Hans_ was there when I wanted to kill myself. _Hans_ has been here the whole time. Where were _you_?”

The engine roared to life. 

“I didn’t need you anyway,” Anna said through gritted teeth as she slammed the car door shut, stepped on the gas, and pulled out of the driveway. 


	9. Chapter 9

Kristoff watched from the doorway as Anna screamed and shook, as she clambered into her car and drove away into the night. His heart ached for her. These things took time, he knew, but it still hurt to see the way in which she excused Hans’ behavior, the way in which she brushed aside her own fear. 

“Why didn’t you try to stop her?” Kristoff was brought out of his thoughts as icy eyes turned to glare at him. Elsa was cold as she pointed an accusing finger to his chest, lip tucked bitterly between her teeth and brows furrowed dramatically. 

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re a therapist. You can obviously see what’s going on here. Why didn’t you try to help me stop her?” Elsa took a deliberate step towards him. Honey’s brow knitted together in concern from where she stood by Elsa’s side. 

“I know you’re upset. You have every right to be,” Kristoff began, careful to keep his voice low and calm and trying his best to validate Elsa’s displaced anger. “But these things take time. She’s getting the help she needs and it’s our job to keep her as safe as possible, which, for the time being, may actually have meant getting her home to him,” he reasoned. 

Elsa’s shoulders sagged as if pulled down by some invisible weight. She ran a shaky hand through her hair and closed her eyes. “I know. I’m sorry.” She hid her face in her hands. If he had known her better, he would’ve reached out and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but he didn’t, so he instead opted to stay where he was. He and Honey exchanged a glance, what the glance communicated he couldn’t say.

Elsa bit at her thumb as she turned her gaze back to Kristoff, icy stare replaced with one of concern. “She won’t listen to me. The more I tell her about my concerns the less she trusts me. I don’t know what to do.”

Kristoff nodded sympathetically. “She’s speaking with a professional, and the best we can do is just be there for her until she comes to realize some things for herself. Otherwise, we just run the risk of making her defensive.”

“What did she tell you?” Elsa asked.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t share anything from our sessions with you. I only saw her twice anyway.”

“No screw that. I meant tonight. What did she tell you?”

Kristoff was taken aback. He was used to being asked by parents of kids about what they had talked about during sessions. He was used to turning these well-intentioned family members down as they tried to learn what he had uncovered during sessions with clients. However, Elsa wasn’t asking Kristoff about what he had talked about with Anna that long month ago. She was asking what he had talked about with her tonight. And in truth, he couldn’t think of a single thing she had said that raised his concern. When he thought back to the evening, he didn’t see the scared, timid woman he knew during sessions or during her quick escape into the evening. He had come to get to know the bright, optimistic Anna- the funny, spontaneous, and radiant Anna. 

Elsa cleared her throat. “Well?” she asked, foot tapping impatiently as she waited for an answer.

“We just talked about funny stories from our pasts and about movies. There was nothing she told me tonight that would make me concerned. I’m telling you what I know about her situation based on my training and my own life experience.”

Elsa let out a heavy sigh and Honeymarren made her way over to her girlfriend, placing a comforting arm around her shoulders. “You really think this new therapist will help her?”

Kristoff nodded. “I do. She has a strong support system, a professional who specializes in what Anna’s dealing with, and a strong heart. She’ll be okay. Just be there for her. No matter how much she tries to distance herself from you.”

Elsa nodded. Honey drew her in as she let out a shuddering breath and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

***

Anna felt her heart in her throat, she felt her blood pulsing in her veins. She heard darkness or adrenaline or something ringing in her ears as she almost ran a stoplight. Just two more turns and then she’d be home. 

Anna pulled into the neighborhood and let out a stifled gasp at the sight of the empty driveway.  _ She had made it home before him. _

She clambered out of her car on unsteady legs. She didn’t feel grounded. It was almost as if she had floated inside in a daze. She fell onto the couch and pleaded for the stilling of her heart, the calming of her breath, and the taming of her nerves.

The door clicked open after a few moments spent in stillness. Shoes clicked on the tiled floor of the entryway of their home.

“Hans?”

“Anna?”

Anna got up from her spot on the couch, nerves dissipating into emptiness and tears. She felt relief as she heard him call her name without malice, without anger. She dove into his arms and Hans chuckled.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” she breathed, searching for comfort in the scent of his firmly pressed business suit.

“I haven’t been gone that long,” he replied, the hint of a smile evident in his tone all the same. He brought a hand to comb through her hair. 

“I know. I just missed you.”

“What have you been up to while I was gone?”

“I read a bit—watched some TV. I didn’t do anything special,” she lied.

She felt his lips brush against her forehead. “Let’s get to bed. It’s been a long day.”

Anna followed her fiancé to their shared bedroom, feeling her fear leave her body. Later she would text Elsa and apologize, let her know she had made it back safely and that she shouldn’t have lost her cool back there. But for now she would let herself love and be loved. She wouldn’t let herself be consumed by guilt. She hadn’t done anything wrong. What harm was there in keeping a little secret from her fiancé?

***

Anna found herself getting back into a comfortable rhythm with Hans after she had snuck out to go to the party. 

He had apologized for keeping her away from her sister. He nuzzled it into her neck one morning while they lay in bed.

_ “I just can’t have you going back to your sister after all she’s done to you. I do this because I love you,” he had said. _

_ “I know, Hans.” _

_ “Kiss me.” _

_ She did. _

She loved him. She rediscovered that during these times—when he kissed her cheek after a long day of work, when he wrapped his arms around her waist and danced with her in the kitchen to their favorite songs. When laughter made its way into the bedroom—those were the times she clung to when Hans was angry, when she fucked up and ruined it all. But for now, things were good. Things were light. Things were heavenly. Anna remembered what it felt like to be in love.

Hans didn’t have to know about that party, or the weekly therapy appointments, or about how today she would be going out to meet up with Elsa, Honey, Ryder, and Kristoff for lunch. Because, for now, things were good. And Anna wanted to keep them that way. She would figure out a way to bring Hans and Elsa together, but for now, she was content on having two separate worlds. 

Anna smiled as soon as she entered the restaurant, guilt about the lies or fear about Hans finding out that she was here melting away the second she saw her sister’s eyes light up. She made her way over to the table and the group smiled at her. She locked eyes with Kristoff for a moment as Elsa pulled her into a hug. She felt warm in her sister’s embrace, and the light in Kristoff’s eyes stirred something foreign inside of her. She hadn’t seen him since the party the week before.

“How have you been?” Elsa asked. Anna could sense a twinge of concern in her sister’s voice, but she didn’t let it phase her.

“I’ve been great, actually. Hans and I have been doing really well lately.”

Elsa smiled and nodded. Before she may have pressed her further, but Elsa just simply turned to Ryder and asked him to continue the story he had been sharing before Anna joined the group.

Anna had called and apologized for freaking out at Elsa’s party a few days before. Much to Anna’s surprise, Elsa graciously accepted her apology and they had since moved on from the whole thing. 

_ “I don’t want to overstep or anything. I just love you and want to make sure you’re safe. I know I haven’t always been here for you, but I am now.” _

Anna’s heart swelled at the memory of her words. They were so far removed from the picture Hans painted of her. Sure, Hans had met Anna during a time when Elsa was away and she was alone, but Elsa had changed. She was sure she could convince Hans of it too.

“Oh, yeah, Ryder, how was that date the other night?” Kristoff asked after Ryder had finished his story. 

“Oh my god. I’m so glad you asked. It was a nightmare—the guy was a total weirdo. You all are going to love this.”

***

“Call me if you need anything, okay? Seriously—anything.” Elsa held Anna’s face with a delicate hand, willing her to look her in the eye and see the sincerity with which she spoke. 

“Okay, okay. I love you too. Now go!” Anna said, giving her sister a gentle hug and a playful nudge. She watched Elsa and Honeymarren go hand in hand to their car. Ryder followed suit with an enthusiastic wave sent back to Anna and Kristoff who were now, as fate was to have it, alone.

“Are you heading out too? I can walk you to your car if you want,” he offered. The gesture, though it was probably meaningless in actuality, warmed Anna’s heart for a brief moment. 

“Oh, no, I was actually planning on getting some stuff before I headed out. You’re welcome to come with if you want. I mean, only if you want to, it’s no trouble at all if you just want to head out.”

Kristoff flashed her an easy smile. “I’d love to go with you.”

Anna felt her heart skip a beat. Ever since she had started dating Hans she had found herself becoming more and more isolated. She was isolated before him as well, what with the dead parents and sister all the way in New York and all, but there was something new about the kind of solitude that had grown within her the past couple of years. She had accepted it for so long as a part of getting older. But now that she’d started seeing her sister for more than the occasional lunch and seeing her sister’s friends (who she guessed were her friends now too), she was starting to remember what it felt like to share time with people other than Hans.

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Anna started as she milled through the aisles of the Macy’s she and Kristoff had wandered into. 

“Haven’t done what?”

“Shopped with someone else,” Anna said as she picked a dress from a hanger and held it up to herself in the mirror. She and Kristoff locked eyes for a moment, his reflection tall and almost daunting behind her in the mirror. “Hans is so busy that he never really has time to run errands with me, and until recently, Elsa and I only ever met up for lunches. Even now I don’t think Elsa would ever want to go to the store with me. When we were little she always used to complain about how I would get distracted by everything. Like—dammit—I’m doing it now!” Anna let out a huff and placed the dress back on its hanger, suddenly feeling a sense of failure rise in her chest as she realized how annoyed Kristoff must be. “I’m sorry—please don’t feel like you have to stay or anything,” she assured him, eyes meeting his in what she hoped was a sincere invitation for him to leave her like he had probably wanted to do all along.

“I’m having fun, I promise,” Kristoff said with a soothing tone and an outstretched hand, not touching her, but offering her a sense of comfort nonetheless. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. I’m happy to be your shopping partner. And hey, where’s the fun in shopping if you can’t get sidetracked by things?”

Anna let out a soft giggle. “I guess you’re right.”

“Like this!” Kristoff strode over to a display and grabbed a lady’s sun hat from a shelf that Anna would have never been able to reach. He placed it on his head and turned to Anna with a cheeky grin. “If I was shopping with Elsa would I be able to grab this hat and show her how beautiful I look in it?”

Anna was laughing louder now. Each time she looked at him the bright smile on his face brought on a spell of laughter all over again. “Kristoff,” Anna began, putting on her best Elsa impression and crossing her arms in mock frustration. “Stop goofing around! If we don’t get over to the toilet paper section right this second the whole world is going to explode!”

Kristoff let out a snort of laughter at that and Anna’s heart surged. He grabbed another hat from the top shelf of the display. “Here, we can match.”

Anna looked at the hat. It was a ridiculous looking hat with a large, white bow on the front and a floppy brim that obscured her vision just a bit when she put it on. “Now we look equally ridiculous,” she said with a flourish.

“No, I definitely think I’m rocking this hat,” Kristoff challenged. 

Anna pulled out her phone. “Alright, let’s let the jury decide,” she dared with a smirk.

“What?”

“Smile!” Anna aimed the camera at the mirror before them, capturing both her and Kristoff in their ridiculous looking hats. She tapped on the picture and sent it to the group chat she, Kristoff, Honey, Elsa, and Ryder had all used to coordinate lunch with the caption “who wore it better?”. 

The rest of their shopping went by without any more distractions, although Anna noticed Kristoff take a moment to save the picture of them in their stupid hats which made her happier than maybe it should have.

The two eventually parted ways with a heartfelt goodbye and a shared smile. The votes had come back in favor of Kristoff being the one who wore the hat better, but Anna was never one to be a sore loser. Besides, Elsa's text of “you both look adorable <3” made her heart lighter than any sort of stupid victory ever would. 

Anna hadn’t felt this alive in ages. She opened up the picture again. Kristoff’s eyes were so full, his smile bright and brilliant, the stubble adding definition to his jaw, and one arm posed at his hip. And she looked bright and vibrant too in the picture. For a moment she thought she saw something in her eyes she hadn’t seen in a long time. Maybe it was a trick of the light or just the nature of taking a snapshot of a moment in time. There were bound to be discrepancies. 

Anna glanced at the picture one last time with a smile and drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter took so long to post!! I'm not sure why, but this chapter was so hard for me to write- I had major writer's block and just could not figure out some of the scenes! But I finally wrote it lol, so hopefully you enjoyed! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story!!! <3 I really appreciate all of the comments and kudos <3 <3 <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for mentions of emotionally manipulative behavior and anxiety

“How have you been, Anna?” 

Yelena sat across from Anna, poised with her hands folded neatly in her lap. She wore a purple and blue floral print dress that fell to the floor in delicate tresses. Anna had tried to call her Dr. Hallan during their first session, but Yelena had put up a gentle hand and insisted that Anna call her by her first name. Unlike Kristoff, she didn’t take notes during sessions; rather, she listened with a quiet intensity. It had intimidated Anna during the first few sessions, but she had long come to find comfort in Yelena’s well-timed nods and empathetic smiles over the two months she had been with her. 

Normally Anna danced around these types of questions, trying to find the least alarming way to tell the people around her that she felt like she was drowning. But this week, Anna didn’t have to worry about twisting her words. Things were _good_. 

“I’ve been doing really well! Things with Hans have been great, and I’ve been able to spend time with my sister and her friends too.”

“I’m happy to hear that. I’m glad you’ve been able to make time with your sister.”

Anna’s heart swelled at the praise. There was a strange part of her that wanted Yelena to like her, to tell her that she was doing a good job. 

“Have you been able to tell Hans that you’ve been spending time with Elsa?”

Anna froze, her brief moment of pride overtaken by the reminder that no matter how well things were going, she was still living a lie. “Well, no.” 

Yelena hummed and nodded. Anna waited for her to say something, perhaps scold her for hiding things from her fiance, but she just looked at her with those kind eyes, letting silence fill the room. Anna hated silence. 

“Whenever I spend time with Elsa, it makes him feel like I’m choosing her over him. I just need time to get him to realize that she’s not against him and then he’ll be okay with everything!”

“It sounds like you’re building up two worlds for yourself, one in which you can exist freely, and the other in which you have to hide the other world.”

Anna nodded. She’d never thought of it that way, but it sounded about right. “I just need more time to convince him. Then this whole thing will be over.” _Wouldn’t it?_

“What scares you about telling Hans now?”

“Instead of waiting?”

Yelena nodded.

Anna put her head in her hands, the thought in and of itself almost overwhelming her. “Everything. The fact that I had been lying to him and seeing Elsa and all of her friends behind his back like this? It would destroy him. Oh god. Am I a bad person?” Guilt pricked at her sides as the words left her mouth. It wasn’t that she hadn’t realized that she was lying or sneaking around, but it all sounded so much worse when she said it out loud.

“You’re not a bad person, Anna.” Yelena held out her hand as if to try to stop the thought before it got too far. “Sometimes we do things we wouldn’t normally do in an act of self-preservation. You’re afraid and you’re protecting yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“Should it be this horrifying? I should just tell him, right?”

“Couples should typically be able to tell each other things without fear of an extreme reaction from the other. It sounds like Hans has a tendency to overreact in ways that are very unfair to you.” Yelena’s voice lacked the judgment Anna feared she would find in these kinds of conversations. 

“Maybe.” She still felt that judgment somewhere deep inside of herself, but the calm energy with which Yelena regarded her kept her from spiraling down to a place she didn’t want to go. “But the good is so good! I mean, things are great right now, they really are! A fight every now and then is something I can live with.” 

“Is it okay if I show you something?” It didn’t feel like a question, as Yelena was already reaching towards her bag to retrieve a piece of paper. 

Anna nodded. 

Yelena held it toward her, letting Anna take in the contents before continuing. The page boasted a large circle with arrows pointing to different phases. The 4 different stages were labeled “tensions building, violence, reconciliation, and calm”. 

“Sometimes in relationships, someone will find themselves stuck in an unhealthy pattern,” Yelena began, using a gentle finger to trace the flow of the arrows around the circle before stopping on one of the stages.

“Let me tell you a story about a couple, Derek and Amber. Now, Amber has expectations for Derek, and if he doesn’t meet them, she leads him to believe he has wronged her. It could be something as small as leaving a dish in the sink or buying the wrong kind of bread. One day, Derek doesn’t take out the trash before Amber gets home and she snaps.” The word was punctuated by a snap of Yelena’s fingers. “She throws insults, obscenities, and even blunt objects at him, all the while saying it is _his_ fault that she had to. Then, once the dust settles, Amber apologizes, promises she’ll be better, and showers Derek with affection. She claims to feel guilty and to hate herself, saying Derek makes her a better person. Derek stays, and things seemingly return to normal, until the next time Derek spends too long at his friend’s house.”

Anna followed the circle on the paper as Yelena spoke, then looked up to see genuine concern in her eyes.

“Anna...this story doesn’t have an ending. Not until Derek decides when the ending will be. None of this is Derek’s fault. He doesn’t deserve the abuse.” Yelena stopped at that last word.

Anna was struck with the severity of it. _Abuse_ . She sat in the silence for a moment, her eyes scanning over the paper. The words danced on the page. “Don’t all couples have arguments?” It was a hesitant question, one she felt she already knew the answer to. _They do. But not like this._

“Relationships can be difficult. But a healthy argument is not one in which one partner makes the other feel genuinely afraid. Does that make sense, Anna?”

In a small corner of her mind, it did. “I don’t think I’m afraid of Hans.” 

Yelena waited and Anna could feel the silence creeping up on her once more. Yelena was trying to get her to fill in the spaces, but she couldn’t. Her head fell back in her hands. “Love is hard,” she said with a sigh.

“Love _is_ hard. But with the right person, it should set you free.” 

Anna’s gaze met Yelena’s; one worn calm and steady with age. 

They moved on after a moment, talking about Anna's anxiety and sense of self. Yelena was giving her great insight for continuing to work on the positive self-affirmations she had been given last week, but her mind was still stuck on those words. _With the right person, love should set you free_.

“I have an assignment for you this week.” Yelena patted her knees and moved forward in her chair, a signal to Anna that their time together was almost over. “I want you to look at the relationships in your life and really examine them with an objective, critical lens. I want you to write down some observations of good things, bad things, or things you might be unsure about. And when you come in next week we can talk about them. How does that sound?”

“What if I write down the wrong things?”

“There’s no such thing. Anything you write down is important and deserves to be talked about. I want you to try and trust yourself on this. And remember—no one will see this list outside of you and me if you don’t want them to, okay?”

“Okay. I think I can do that.” It all sounded so much easier when Yelena described it in a comforting voice.

“Alright, then I look forward to seeing you next week. Thank you for your honesty today.”

Anna smiled and thanked Yelena for her time before slowly rising, stretching out a kink in her back, and heading towards the door.

“Anna,” Yelena called, stopping Anna in her tracks. “There is nothing wrong with having questions about the love you’re receiving or what’s normal and what’s not. It’s important to ask yourself those things, and you should be proud of yourself for taking the time to do so.”

She fought the urge to downplay the compliment, to deflect it back to her and fumble awkwardly. It was something they had worked on during their very first meeting together. “Thank you. I’m trying.”

“I know you are. You’ve been doing an amazing job.”

***

Hans was out for the night, just in time for Elsa and Honey’s small get together at their place. She had been excited to spend time with her sister and friends all week, but her therapy appointment had left her a bit shaken. The calm Yelena brought her during the session had subsided and left nothing but worry in its wake. Anna gripped the wheel tightly as she headed out from the empty house to Elsa’s. Hans had left her some leftovers in the fridge for her. Attached was a sticky note telling her he loved her and would see her soon. Normally the gesture would make her heart swell, but tonight, it just made her uneasy. 

Was therapy supposed to make you feel so shitty? Anna was starting to realize she didn’t have a good grasp of what was normal and what wasn’t. 

Anna pulled into the complex and made her way up to their door, letting her feet carry her blindly to where she needed to be.

“Anna!” Elsa greeted her with outstretched arms at the door. 

Despite the anxiety tugging at her throat, she felt warm and safe as Elsa tucked her into her chest. 

Elsa pulled back and brought her delicate hands to Anna's cheeks as if she was a mother checking her daughter for scrapes and bruises after a fall. “Are you okay?” 

Anna laughed nervously at the concern she heard in Elsa’s voice, a poor attempt to assure her sister that she was doing just fine. “I’m good, Elsa. I promise.” She took Elsa’s hand from her cheek and squeezed it in her own, an act that she hoped reassured her. 

Elsa gave her a smile and squeezed her hand back before leading her into the apartment. 

The rest of the group was already there, lounging around with snacks and drinks on the couch in the living room. Ryder had pulled up a chair and straddled it from behind, arms strung over the back of it and rocking on it dangerously. 

“You’re going to fall, Ryder,” Honey warned.

Ryder brushed her off and smiled as his eyes met Anna’s. “Anna!” 

Kristoff placed an arm on the back of the couch and turned around to see her at the mention of her name, gaze softening as it fell on her. Anna felt her cheeks heating up as he flashed her a gentle smile and a small wave.

“How are you?” Honey asked as she got up from the couch and made her way over to Anna, taking her into a hug that felt much like Elsa’s, warm and hesitant, but purposeful all the same. 

“I’m good! I’ve just been staying busy with things at home. What have you all been up to?” she asked, eager to get the attention off of herself. She was happy to be with her friends, but she wasn’t in the right headspace to have all the attention on her. She took a place on an armchair next to the couch and fell into the pattern of conversation. 

Elsa was leaned against Honey, Ryder was rocking in his chair, and Kristoff was relaxed into the couch, arms thrown over his head. 

Every once in a while Anna felt Kristoff’s gaze shift to her as if he was looking for something, as if he could sense that the bounce of her leg meant that her head was still reeling. 

Ryder told everyone about another one of his failed dates. Honey spoke about an insufferable client at work, and Elsa shared a story about a coworker that had Ryder finally falling out of his precariously perched chair with laughter. Eventually, Elsa got up to grab some more snacks from the kitchen to bring out to everyone.

Anna watched the way with which Honey regarded Elsa as she walked, eyes filled with adoration and a smile crossing her face before she got up to follow her into the kitchen and help. They laughed, playfully poking each other as they brought back a new tray of food. 

Something about the sight made Anna’s stomach twist. She couldn’t place what it was, but the anxiety that had settled in her stomach had risen to her throat and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. 

_Love is hard. But with the right person, it should set you free._

The words made her head pound. Someone said something, but she wasn’t sure what it was or if it was even directed at her. “I’m going to go get some air for a second,” she muttered before making her way as carefully as possible to the patio door. 

Anna stepped out onto the small, fenced-in patio. It was cramped but cozy, and the fresh air was already doing wonders for her head. Honey and Elsa had strung lights up along the railing and placed plants in nearly every corner. It reminded Anna of the small patio that she and Elsa had spent time on growing up. She had missed her sister for so long, and now she was finally back and in her life. How could she possibly be so upset? Anna sank to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest.

She heard the door open and shut quietly behind her, signifying another presence. She expected whoever it was to start with the questions, the ‘are you okay?’ that she knew she couldn’t answer. 

“Say the word and I’ll leave.” It was Kristoff. Anna felt strangely relieved. She couldn’t bring herself to look up or answer. Kristoff took a step towards her and joined her on the ground, mimicking her stance and resting his head against his knees.

“Are you okay?” He turned to her with those kind eyes of his. 

“Yes.” She bit her tongue at the lie. “No. I don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe?”

He left silence between them and Anna suddenly felt the need to fill it. 

“Yelena said some stuff to me today that I’ve just been thinking about.”

“Like what?”

“Isn’t love supposed to be hard?”

“What do you mean?”

“Couples fight! They yell at each other! It’s not supposed to be easy all the time.” She motioned with her arms into the air as she conjured up her reasoning.

“Hmm.”

“I just, I don’t know. I always thought that things were good between us, that things were normal, you know? And I mean, he always apologizes for the things that he does, but I’m starting to think that maybe he shouldn’t be doing the things he needs to apologize for in the first place.”

Kristoff nodded. 

“Shouldn’t I be able to tell my fiance I’m here?” 

Kristoff didn’t answer. Anna’s mind filled in the blanks.

“God, I’m such an idiot,” she said, hands fisting her hair, searching for something to grab hold of.

“Anna, look at me.”

She looked up slowly when he didn’t continue, the demand in his voice soft, yet firm. 

“You’re not an idiot,” he said the moment her eyes met his. 

She was struck by the earnesty in his voice, struck by how quickly he reassured her. Hans had called her an idiot loads of times. He had called her much worse, too. “I know, I’m sorry. I just feel like I should know these things by now.” 

“No one has all the answers. Sometimes you have to learn from the things that hurt you. But that’s okay, because at the end of the day, you learned, and you have people in your life to pick you back up again.”

“Yeah.” Anna paused for a moment letting Kristoff’s words settle in. She thought maybe he would continue, but he didn’t. “What if the thing that hurts you the most is the best part of your life?” 

“It’s not.”

“But what if it is?”

“Then it won’t be hard to find something better.”

Anna nodded thoughtfully and looked up into the stars. She felt so small among them. Maybe there were more possibilities out there for her than she was letting herself imagine. 

Kristoff didn’t say anything after that. He only let the conversation drift into silence.

“What is it with you therapists and that?”

“With what?”

“The ‘shutting up and waiting for us to finish’ thing!”

Kristoff threw his head back in laughter. “Does Yelena do that too?”

“Yes! It drives me crazy. I hate silence.”

“Good. It’s doing its job.”

“You’re unbelievable.” She nudged him playfully and he laughed again, a sound so light and airy that spilled out of his mouth with a gentle roll. She wanted to hear it over and over again, to record it and take it home and listen to it when she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

They stayed like that for a moment, just looking up at the night sky and watching their breath come out in neat, airy puffs before them. At some point, Anna found herself leaning against Kristoff, arms brushing together as they shared laughter into the sky before falling into comfortable silence, one that, for the first time all day, Anna didn’t feel the need to fill.

“We should probably head back in,” Anna said after a moment. 

Kristoff hummed his agreement and stood, offering Anna a hand. She took it. It felt warm and smooth under hers. 

“Kristoff,” she whispered before he could turn to head inside. 

He stopped and looked at her, brown eyes holding unanswered questions and a million dreams within them. She realized perhaps she wanted to know them all. “Thank you.”

“Hey, uh, don’t mention it. It’s no big deal. I like talking to you.” He ran a hand behind his neck and glanced away. Anna smiled. She had never seen him nervous before, and although she wasn’t sure where it was coming from, she decided it was endearing.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, because I like talking to you too.”

They exchanged a smile, a breath, and then walked back inside to be greeted by the rest of the gang with excited cheers. Anna settled into her sister’s warm embrace and smiled at her friends before drifting back into comfortable conversation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that time I didn't update this fic for like,,, 5 months? I'm so sorry ahhhhhhhh! BUT HERE IT IS! A new chapter!!! Finally! Thanks for still reading even though I dropped off the face of the earth for a hot minute. <3 <3 <3 Hope everyone is doing well! 
> 
> (I'm still active on Tumblr! Feel free to hmu there at https://generaldisdainn.tumblr.com)


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